It’s been two months since I started trying to write some more of my blog. I can’t work out whether that’s because nothing has happened, or because so much has happened subliminally and emotionally that it has taken me for ever to even try to articulate it.

Without any doubt the hardest bit of lock down and semi-lock down has been not seeing my children and the lack of actual human interaction, and, for me, the great pleasure I find in chatting with strangers and making new acquaintances. I know that living in the country and having a lifestyle where the day to day essentials have changed very little makes me very, very lucky, and there have been great plusses of having a quiet and slow time.

I have loved having Mark working at home and will really miss it when he goes back to the office full time, it has certainly given me a really good insight to what his job really entails for the first time. Having a proper lunch together has given a new structure to our day, and we have been for lovely long walks in the evenings. For many people working life has probably changed for ever. I think a very large number of people will never go back to the office five days a week, and certainly some sort of social distancing needs to stay in place until a vaccine is place which will mean staggering the numbers on public transport and in offices.

Once we passed the first stage of loosening the rules Mark and I took it in turns to meet Anna and Sophie for walks, and Gill and Mark McCafferty very kindly let us wish Rory a very special first birthday, but Mark had to miss this very important date. In the last month Tom, Anna & Rory and Sophie and Alex have been down for an outside lunch - in the case of Sophie and Alex sheltering under an umbrella in the pouring rain, and in the last two weeks we have seen friends, outside, and finally last night Alex and Sophie were able to stay the night. We have mainly been so lucky that the weather has been kind to having a social life that only takes place outside. Really I don’t think we have any idea where we are with the pandemic globally. Hopefully we can go slowly forward without a huge second wave, but in many parts of the world the rates of infection are still huge, we still have no idea about levels of immunity or how many people have had the virus in the community.

It is crazy to think that Rory has now been part of the family for over a year, he’s walking now and such a wonderful little character. Anna and Tom have finally bought and moved into their new house in Teddington. Mark and I visited, and Mark did the proper Dad job of mowing their lawn for them. It is a great little house and lovely for them to have their own home again nearly nine months after they sold their flat. Anna is now back at work, with a new job working from home, so is learning to combine work and motherhood. Sophie and Alex also might be on the move sometime soon, with exciting new plans.

On the horse front Heidi had three weeks off, which gave me more time to ride Riri and Pakkse while Claudia and Elena couldn’t come to the yard. This was really hard for them and Claudia was lucky enough to find a good DIY yard for Riri and so she went to her new hotel at the end of April, meaning that I had time to bring Heidi back in. Elena and Pakkse have now gone to Izzy and Claire George at Cowden which is nearer to home for them.

Doing the yard quite happily by myself during the real lock down gave me time to take a more objective view on how I want to organise what is left of my competitive career. At 58 time left at the level I want to compete at is limited, so for as long as it lasts I am just going to have my own horses at home. Not having liveries has allowed me to have Emma and Luna back here. Emma has been my best pet for ten years and I really missed having her at home.

Askeaton had a small sarcoid on her girth when she was vetted in April last year and stupidly I forgot about it when it was covered with winter coat while she was having her box rest through the winter, but once she was clipped and working it quickly grew to be a nuisance. We had it treated with chemotherapy, but it was still affecting her, so we took this opportunity to have it removed by laser which left a huge 6cm wide and 3cm deep hole on her girth.

Mike Barrott at Cinder Hill Equine Vets did a brilliant job with her, she’s not always the easiest patient, but they kept her in overnight and although she was very shaky when I collected her the next day, she has actually been so good about it all. We have been hugely helped by the weather as she has been able to spend most of the day outside, and while the wound was still very open the flies hadn’t yet appeared.

Askeaton had three weeks completely off and then 10 days of being worked from the floor, before we were able to use a broad stud girth on her which spread the pressure on her girth area.

Khalissy and Heidi had their shoes back on at the beginning of May and the following week April came back to work so we have been able to really get going from then on. The horses had all really benefited from the slower days in lock down, and me having the time to really consolidate their flat work and rideability and to test this out with some grid work, but there comes a time when you have to get back at it and get your eye back in at a bigger height without everything being set up for you. Going forward with only my own horses here means that April will be able to come to shows with me as we won’t be leaving any horses apart from the brood mares at home. Getting good help for shows has always been a big stressor for me, so hopefully having April who knows the horses so well now will add a new layer of confidence going forward.

I had two good lessons with Michael Duffy and two great lessons with Trevor Breen. Trevor has always been very good at nailing my bad habits and making me work hard to try to beat them. In between we have been schooling at Hickstead and at Coombelands. Both are great venues with very good footing, and it has been great to get out and jump a few courses, and get used to jumping some bigger fences again.

We managed to get our first show at Felbridge 10 days ago. I was a bit nervous about what a show would be like at this time, but it could not have been a better experience. I am very happy pre-entering anyway, and think start lists are a good idea too. We had the lovely big grass arena to warm up in, and then just went through to the collecting ring with four horses to go, and there was someone to alter the fences. It was actually perfect! Khalissy got the day off to a very good start being placed with a double clear in the Discovery. Heidi was literally beside herself with excitement, and hopefully will be better for the outing, and Askeaton was actually very well behaved, and jumped well, but she was a little bit keen down distances and ended up finding them a little bit short.

Sadly the two shows we had planned at Pyecombe have been cancelled as they sadly have problems in their yard. Very frustrating when they have worked so hard to get started with shows again. I was really lucky to get a schooling slot at Hickstead on Monday where all the horses went very well, and a second lesson with Trevor on Friday where all the horses are now happily jumping some bigger fences, and I’m getting my eye in and my brain going faster jumping some good courses. After my lesson on Friday I feel really ready to be planning my first international show of the year in Kronenberg in Holland at the end of the month.

One of the very good things that happened in lock down is that Saracen renewed my sponsorship contract for another year which was fantastic news in uncertain times. Saracen is, I am sure, the best horse feed available, and I am thrilled to be associated with them and supported by them.

I have managed to do some website work during the past three months, and have done a little bit of admin work for Ridgeway Farm Stud, helping them set up their first international trip post lock down. Very sadly poor Pepper got hit by a car on my first day back at work, so Salty has been given quite a lot of tlc while she gets over her new loneliness.

Is this the new normal?